- Not giving up
I haven’t moved an inch since Rowan left I felt like the walls were closing in on me and I had no
escape. No way to numb the pain I was feeling inside
Everything hurt and I didn’t even know how to stop it. I didn’t know what to do or how to react
Why was this happening to me? That’s the question I keep asking myself, but there is no ansnes for it. There is no hint on why I was still going through shit even after getting the guys
I feel the trickle of tears as they fall down my face. I hated being weak. I hated crying I rub the tears away angry at myself for letting them fall in the first place
When daddy died, I was broken. I was his princess and he was my hero I didn’t get to spend a lot of time with him because I moved to a different city, but when we did, it was awesome
I thought I wouldn’t recover his death. That there wasn’t a bright side to it. Then Powan and I
talked. He told me that he and Ava were divorced and asked if I could give us a chance
I have been in love with him since I can remember. I never stopped loving him even after he broke my heart. My love for him kept burning throughout the nine years we were apart. That’s how
strong it was
My family had kept me in the loop on things between Rowan and Ava. I knew that despite being
married and no matter how Ava tried, Rowan kept her at a distance. He was cold to her and he
never fell for her. He always asked after me. That his feelings for me were still obvious
All these things considered, I didn’t understand why right now he was all of a sudden interested in her life. Did my family miss something when it came to them? Something was just not adding up
I stand up and start pacing I felt like I was going crazy with so many unanswered questions !
needed to talk to someone Someone who would help clear my doubts.
Picking up my phone, I call the one person that knows all there is to know about my life. She
answers on the first ring
“Hey, darling how is happily ever after treating you? she greets, excitement in her voice
Molly has been my best friend since we started Uni She was my anchor and support system after
everything went down with Rowan She was the one that helped pull me back together it wasn’t for her pushing, I would have continued being depressed and failing my classes I owe my
career to her
“Not that great” I whisper sadly
I thought that I would finally get my man. That everything was finally falling into place and I
would soon have my dream. Instead here I am worrying and questioning everything.
“What do you mean? I thought everything was going great. Rowan asked you for another chance,
didn’t he?” she questions, her voice ringing in confusion.
She could join the club because I was just as confused as she was.
“They were, at first, but now I’m starting to doubt things. To doubt his feelings for me”
. It makes my heart ache to think that everyone might have been wrong about his feelings. That at
some point he might have developed some for Ava. I don’t know how I would survive if that ends
up being the case.
“Tell me why you are in doubt and then we can work from there” she says softly and calmly.
I am one of the best lawyers. I study the facts before coming up with an attack plan. I make sure I
am able to think clearly so that I can disable my enemies. Yet, when it comes to Rowan,
everything I’ve learned is thrown out of the window.
“Rowan has been obsessive with Ava. He thinks I don’t know but for the past weeks, he’s been
constantly checking on and calling her. He hired bodyguards for her, bought her a brand new car
and hired someone to look after her”
I never told him that I knew because I wanted him to tell me himself. I didn’t understand why he
was doing all these things if he truly didn’t give a fuck about her. In my head, that was going
beyond what’s normal for an ex–husband to do for his ex–wife.
“Why would he do all that? Did something happen to ‘she who shall not be named‘ or something?” I can tell she’s puzzled. I can even imagine her brows pinched as tries to come up with an answer.
“Seems like she’s a target, she got shot during daddy’s burial and a couple of weeks ago, her car got blown up and she was injured” I tell her everything that happened “Personally, I think she did all these things to steal Rowan’s attention from me” I finish
Like I said before, Ava isn’t anyone of importance to us, so why would anyone be after her?
Molly sighs, “If I were there, I would have smacked you Emma. You’re a damn lawyer and yet you want to believe your sister is capable of doing all that to herself just to get Rowan?” 1
“It’s because I’m a lawyer that I believe it. You can’t imagine what lengths women would go to, just
to get the attention of their exes after said exes have moved on”
I’ve had my share of serving ex- wives and girlfriends after they harmed others and their supposed loved one all in the name of winning back their men.
“People do crazy things when in love, and crazy is Ava’s middle name” I add.
When we were teenagers, Ava did everything and anything to get Rowan’s attention She even went as far as sabotaging our dates, ruining any diess I picked when I was going to meet Rowan and once she put green hair dye in my shampoo Those were just some of the tame things she did. She didn’t stop until she finally managed to break Rowan and I up.
“I’m not Ava’s biggest fan because of what she did to you, but I think she wouldn’t stoop that low… Besides, isn’t she the one that asked for the divorce?” Molly asks.
I go to tell her that it might have been a manipulative trick she used, but she doesn’t give me the chance to speak.
“I understand that you’re worried but Rowan has been married to Ava for nine years. They also have a son. He may not be in love with her but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t care for her. After what you’ve told me happened to Ava, it’s normal he would be worried and want to look after her”
She made sense, but I still couldn’t help feel that something is just not right with him.
I get that, but that’s not my worry. My concern is how he behaves when he sees her with another.
man. There is this cop called Ethan and he’s sniffing around Ava. The two times we saw them
together, Rowan’s behavior was volatile. He almost broke my hand today after he saw Ethan and
Ava standing really close outside a restaurant” I tell her feeling completely defeated.
She’s quiet for some time, while I try my best to drown the pain I felt today. You have no idea how
fucking hurtful it is to see the man you love, completely pissed at seeing the woman who broke us
up, with another man.
“Define volatile” Molly demands.
“He looked possessed. Like he was about to blow. The only reason he would behave like that, is if
he was possessive of her. To be possessive in that manner, means you have deep feelings.
Feelings that go beyond just caring about someone simply because she’s the mother of your kid” i
I don’t want to think of that possibility, but I also can’t help myself. Could it be really possible that
he was in love with her and didn’t even know it?
“Look, I don’t know what to say because this shit is complicated. From where I’m standing you
have two options, you can either give him up or fight for him. There is no way everyone was wrong when they said he was still pinning over you” 1
I don’t even think twice when I answer. “I’m fighting for him. Ava ruined us once and took away
nine years of our lives. I won’t let her do that again”
Molly lets out a breath. “I was afraid you would say that, but Emma..” she inhales. “If that’s the
case, then you’ll have to come clean. You’ve kept it a secret for so long that you’ve started fooling
yourself into believing it. No great relationship is built off of lies” t
I hate that she was reminding me of what I was yet to tell him. I knew she was right but I didn’t
know if it was the right move.
Pretending was better than acknowledging the truth. I knew if they ever found out, they would loose their respect for me. They would realize that I wasn’t perfect. I couldn’t have that, because
being perfect is the only advantage l’had over Ava.